Earth.

As you know from either your Earth-loving or Social Media-loving ways, today is Earth Day.

Whatever this says about me and my brain, Earth Day always brings me back to my sorority days. Our sorority had a Recycling Chair, a position for our greenest-tree-hugging ladyfriend who would help ensure that we were all conserving hot water and recycling our energy drink cans and wasting as little as possible.

Then there was my dear friend (who shall remain nameless because I love her and think of this story only with the fondest amusement and don’t want any earth-lovers judging her). I will never forget gawking and shuddering once as she threw an aluminum can in the trash (the TRASH! THE HORROR!) instead of walking to the recycling bin in the bathroom and putting it there as an act of gratitude towards Mother Earth and generativity to the Earth’s inhabitants in many thousand of years. With an appropriately appalled face, I inquired (er, demanded to know) why she didn’t recycle it. She smiled casually and said “I mean, I would recycle, but I’m not going to go to the effort to walk down the hallway to do it.”

I see.

As a little tongue-in-cheek tribute to my dear, dear friend, here you have it:

the EASIEST (and BEST) ways to NOT help the earth (most of which I am guilty of).

1. Take a bath, not a shower.

Here’s me sheepishly admitting to soaking in the tub tonight while perusing my iPad (living on the edge, I know – putting my iPad so near to the water) and getting shamed by an earth-loving blogger (BATHS ARE THE WORST!). Oops.

2. Keep using regular lightbulbs.

Let’s be serious, the fluorescent ones just cast a strange light. I don’t need to be exposing every flaw of my skin like that.

3. If it’s going to inconvenience you at all, drive separate.

Who wants to wait 5 minutes to carpool? Those are precious moments I could be watching Netflix at home.

4. Topped only by, if it feels hard to not drive, just drive.

Think of how many times you might be able to sing along to Celine Dion while circling the block for parking!

5. Don’t let your car hold all your trash – just dump it out the window!

What would church youth groups do without trash pickup efforts?

6. Never be uncomfortable. Your home should be 72 in the winter and 65 in the summer. No question.

7. Don’t read.

Trust me, if you do, you may be forced to become very uncomfortable with some of your choices. Honestly, I would rather not have read that eating meat uses exorbitantly more fossil fuels than driving a Hummer. Or that whole bath vs shower thing. Ugh. It’s just annoying. Don’t do it.

 

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But honestly, the earth is a beautiful place. It’s pretty magical, actually.

If you have any doubts about it, just watch Cosmos.

Or this video.

Or just take a peek outside and marvel in the natural beauty all around.

Happy Earth Day, today and every day! Take care of yourself and all living things around you – people and earth included 🙂

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